Have you come across the book The Four Agreements? The Four Agreements by Ruiz are beneficial guidelines we can utilize to sustain our lives, improve our relationships, and promote our joy and fitness.
These are Ruiz's The Four Agreements.
The First Agreement: Always be Impeccable With Your Word.
This should mean staying away from gossip, untruths, empty commitments and other behaviors we create troubles with our words. Express only what you mean, and remember that you can bring about damage if you're not cautious with each remark you convey.
This is a wonderful advice. A great number of people don't see the capacity of their words and see the damage that can be produced with saying words carelessly, thoughtlessly or forcefully. The majority of us are aware that shouting at someone may be distressing to them, but indirect little digs at them, or rumor behind their backs, can negatively affect other individuals more than we realize, and in injuring them, we injure ourselves.
The Second Agreement: Don't Take Anything Personally.
This 'agreement' covers getting familiar with how other people's conducts are a reflection of them only. Each time someone gives us feedback about us, it's necessary to remember that no opinions are absolutely objective; all of us have our biases, 'filters' through which we view the entire world, and the like. Because of this, we shouldn't take anyone else's perception of us or our actions as entirely true; every time someone says a certain thing about us (or anything else), they're really saying something about their very selves and how they view the world.
This is excellent guide for making us feel much better, but take it with a grain of salt. While everybody has their biases and there is no such thing as full objectivity, by never taking anything personally, people can actually limit their ability to see their own undesirable patterns and biased views, and work on developing more healthy patterns and clear-sighted thinking.
The Third Agreement: Don't Make Assumptions.
A large amount of stress is created when people assume they know what other persons are thinking without checking with them. Comprehending that other folks might have different motivations for their actions, even drastically varying world perceptions, and remembering to really try to understand others and exchange views about these motivations before jumping to conclusions about their behavior, can go a long way toward discouraging interpersonal conflict.
But nonetheless, taking this guideline to an extreme may cause people to pay no attention to their intuition on people, or common sense regarding someone's behavior that's damaging. It can also open people up to manipulation should they train themselves to believe someone's explanation of bad behavior instead of judging the behavior on its own. (For example, not 'assuming' they're being cheated on if their partner is demonstrating erratic behavior and the classic signs of unfaithfulness, but vehemently denies wrongdoing.) This one is a useful suggestion, but should be tempered by common sense and inner wisdom.
The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best.
In this, Ruiz means to do the best you can at any given situation, and you'll have no regrets. Some days, your best will not be as good as other days, and that's alright. Provided that you put honest effort into life, you will have nothing to be ashamed of, and will never 'beat yourself up' over a less-than-stellar performance in retrospect.
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